The Lady with a Hammer (46)

The Lady with a Hammer (46)

1

What happens to your laptop?

Or your tablet that is lost?

In a town called Timaru

Regardless of the cost

Well the lost property lady

At the cop shop in North Street

Has been given a new hammer

When a password has her beat

The lady with a hammer handling police lost property

At North Street, Timaru, is on a healthy salary

So to smash a person’s iPad would otherwise be odd

Had permission not been given by her boss called Mister Plod 

2

Well let’s not malign the lady

She waits four weeks and a day

Before reaching for her hammer

With a ribbon pink and gay

After which the bin is needed

For the hundred bits or more

It’s a bloody brutal method

That’s permitted by the law

The lady with a hammer handling police lost property

At North Street, Timaru, is on a healthy salary

So to smash a person’s iPad would otherwise be odd

Had permission not been given by her boss called Mister Plod 

3

How about an Apple laptop

Or some tablet close to new

Or an iPhone that won’t open

Though it’s right in front of you

If you leave it at the airport

After four weeks and a day

I’m afraid your precious item

Will be smashed without delay

The lady with a hammer handling police lost property

At North Street, Timaru, is on a healthy salary

So to smash a person’s iPad would otherwise be odd

Had permission not been given by her boss called Mister Plod 

4

Yet without a password hurdle

Three months may now come to pass

Before heading for the auction

Without any broken glass

So three months if to be auctioned

And one month if to be trashed

Yet the rat that I can smell now

Makes excuses to be bashed

The lady with a hammer handling police lost property

At North Street, Timaru, is on a healthy salary

So to smash a person’s iPad would otherwise be odd

Had permission not been given by her boss called Mister Plod  

The End

© Frankie Espirit