Little Britain (70)

Little Britain (70)

1

Andrew with the coloured pencils

A disciple of some comic book

Keen to be a famous artist

Or otherwise a TV cook

Renee if I’m not mistaken

Failed to pay her weekly rent

The best that charity could offer

Were sites that catered for a tent

2

Andrew with the coloured pencils

Continued with the comic theme

In the knowledge that derision

Wouldn’t help his self esteem

Forget the cardboard to house Renee

There’s room enough inside my bed

Let’s say the attic for her children

To help the darlings get ahead

Chorus

Harvey sailed to Trafalgar

Horatio Nelson led the way

Villeneuve was quickly beaten

By Little Britain: hip hip hooray

Turner didn’t care for fighting

Goya claimed war was a crime

Regnault soon wearied of sailing

Once art took up his precious time

3

Red Renee, ignore the curtains

And the floorboard with a split

It’s better to rescue this planet

Than be some fool exploiting it

Naturally true competition

To the starboard likes to lean

While the Temeraire departed

A shipwreck yes, but so serene

4

Red Renee, how about it

I’m hoping we can really try

To retrieve our pretty planet

From the bankers gone awry

Look at Nelson and then Harvey

Plus the nations that they beat

All we need is Che Guevara

Or Fidel Castro on his feet

Chorus

Harvey sailed to Trafalgar

Horatio Nelson led the way

Villeneuve was quickly beaten

By Little Britain: hip hip hooray

Turner didn’t care for fighting

Goya claimed war was a crime

Regnault soon wearied of sailing

Once art took up his precious time

The End

© Frankie Espirit

A Fairy Tale (69)

A Fairy Tale (69)

1

Red Riding Hood, please help me

There are many wolves to feed

That are yearning to recover

From the poverty of greed

Well wolves protect the forests

From the cattle and the sheep

That gladly eat the seedlings

(Little trees we like to keep)

2

Red Riding Hood, please help me

There’s a bull we need to axe

The wolves will be so happy

To eat beef and then relax

Well it’s either this or mutton

Both are worthy to be slain

As for wild hares and rabbits

Such great effort for small gain

Chorus

Red Riding Hood and me

On this point we both agree

It is rare for wolves to hurt us

In the wilderness roaming free

Well perhaps it is the serpent

That we really need to shun

And bad culture fabricated

With tinsel to look like fun

3

Red Riding Hood, please help me

Best for you to lead the way

So the rivers are protected

From the grazers of today

A great many wolves are wanted

To make up for wicked man

Who conceals his ill intentions

With fresh flowers meant for Nan

4

Red Riding Hood, please help me

Well this world is not so good

And I really like your cottage

Nestled deep inside a wood

We will be safer together

From a crazy pig called greed

That will speak of peace and justice

In some fairy tale you read

Chorus

Red Riding Hood and me

On this point we both agree

It is rare for wolves to hurt us

In the wilderness roaming free

Well perhaps it is the serpent

That we really need to shun

And bad culture fabricated

With tinsel to look like fun

The End

© Frankie Espirit

Missed Opportunity (68)

Missed Opportunity (68)

1

We were fighting for a Sovereign

When our Captain said a prayer

In the hope the New Jerusalem

Might soon rise out of thin air

But the Yanks had split the atom

And concocted something new

With a message to all nations

Written in red, white and blue

2

It did not take much persuasion

With the atom they possessed

Surely this bomb must be evil

Even Albert soon confessed

When it dropped on Nagasaki

It’s message was loud and clear

“Do not kneel down to the Emperor

It’s our weapon you must fear”

Chorus

We were keen to save our nation

From the German war machine

And to build a New Jerusalem

Where no Jew had ever been

But the power of the atom

Needed a soft resting place

So we nuked poor Nagasaki

And started a new arms race

3

We were fighting for salvation

And some future dream I guess

When the Yanks joined the battle

Feeling left out more or less

Never mind poor Nagasaki

Hiroshima much the same

Once the atom was divided

We had a new beast to tame

4

It did not take much persuasion

Can such power be that bad?

For destroying Hiroshima

And Nirvana to be had

It felt good to hold the aces

And to grasp the hand of hate

With the help of Einstein’s atom

Once divided as of late

Chorus

We were keen to save our nation

From the German war machine

And to build a New Jerusalem

Where no Jew had ever been

But the power of the atom

Needed a soft resting place

So we nuked poor Nagasaki

And started a new arms race

The End

© Frankie Espirit

Mister Albert (67)

Mister Albert (67)

1

A lone song for Mr Albert

With a pocket watch to hold

Which apparently reminds him

All that glitters is not gold

Well at least Albert is living

And his watch is going too

So he can still brew a coffee

And not drink the morning dew

2

What was Albert like in wartime

When the skies were painted red

And some leaders cried blue murder

To find Truman in their bed?

I believe in truth that Albert

Failed to turn up for the war

As his trade was highly rated

Working down at the drug-store

Chorus

When his life at last is over

And his property shared out

Will the memories he created

Be forgotten like some drought?

Will the lyrics of a lifetime

Be now guaranteed to bore

In his role serving the Public

With passion at his drug-store?

3

A lone song for Mr Albert

I don’t know his other name

Though I dare say it is British

And from Britain he first came

I’m just glad he is still living

And his pocket watch is fine

Looking just a little tarnished

As part of some grand design

4

Can it be that he is golden

Like his pocket watch of old

Well they seem to go together

Having both been forged in gold

Added to this is Swiss movement

Balanced on a diamond stone

With sweet ethical precision

Worthy of a Royal throne

Chorus

When his life at last is over

And his property shared out

Will the memories he created

Be forgotten like some drought?

Will the lyrics of a lifetime

Be now guaranteed to bore

In his role serving the Public

With passion at his drug-store?

The End

© Frankie Espirit

Jack’s Return (66)

Jack’s Return (66)

1

Poor Jack was down and out

There was not much work about

And a famine was already on the way

 

He would soon be destitute

And a famished man to boot

Life was getting worse for Jack every day

Chorus

Jack was feeling foolish

And a hungry man as well

He had fallen by the wayside

And was on the road to hell

 

What a fortune he had wasted

Money that his parents gave

No wonder Jack felt stupid

Or in other words a knave

2

Back at home Jack’s parents thought

About the son they raised and taught

Hoping he was doing the best he could

Yet deep down they feared that Jack

Had failed to keep his life on track

And quite likely was not up to any good

Chorus

Jack was feeling foolish

And a hungry man as well

He had fallen by the wayside

And was on the road to hell

What a fortune he had wasted

Money that his parents gave

No wonder Jack felt stupid

Or in other words a knave

3

When a young man falls from grace

Never mind about the place

He remains to his parents just a son

So when Jack went to his dad

To his relief his pa was glad

To forget the bad things he had done

Chorus

With the celebration starting

Can I mention the good calf

That before its final outing

Had to be cut into half

What a pity to be eaten

So to fatten up some lad

Who warranted cold water

Since he had been very bad

4

Now that Jack was home at last

He could put away his past

But his brother thought this was a big mistake

Well Jack was down at heel

Was his olive branch for real?

Since “contriteness” is an easy thing to fake

Chorus

With the celebration starting

Can I mention the good calf

That before its final outing

Had to be cut into half

What a pity to be eaten

So to fatten up some lad

Who warranted cold water

Since he had been very bad

Epilogue

Well Jack had been forgiven

Which is good enough for me

Since by nature we are sinners

Whether the losers or the winners

With tears to spare for the money-tree

And a blind eye when it comes to poverty

What has this to do with Jack?

Please let me answer if I can

Since by nature we are sinners

Whether the losers or the winners

It’s a journey to become a solid man

With the nous to follow God’s good plan

The End

© Frankie Espirit